isch ja egal, ich probier's trotzdem.

1.

A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Yeah, I was a salesman back home." The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job.

His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "Okay, so how many sales did you make today?" The Aussie said "One." The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day." "How much was the sale for?" "124, 237.64. pounds."

The manager choked and exclaimed "124,237.64 POUNDS?! What the hell did you sell him?" "Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engined Power Cat."

"Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x 4 Suzuki".

The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me a guy came In here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?" "No no no... He came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said... Well, since your weekend's fucked, you might as well go fishing!!!"


2.

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated 'pleasure device'... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You had better explain yourself quick smart!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy... you explain the fucking kids!"